#label her as any specific gender or transphobic reasons.

[project-sekai-facts]

wait wait so speaking in terms of the eng translation, everyone in the cast uses they/them for mizuki?? or do people typically switch between the two??? the pronoun discourse when it came to mizuki (when it was really big a while back) stressed me tf out but i'd like to make sure i'm getting it right this time about what pronouns to use if that's ok

everyone uses they/them for mizuki on EN. There's old dialogue that uses she/her (I think all of it's from Kanade), but they stopped doing that very early on. The general consensus in the fandom nowadays is she/her though, due to it better aligning with how her story and gender is portrayed.

[odysseys-blood]

theres a lot of back and forth about paimon especially so i just wanna put in my two cents about it bc speculation on paimon and gender can be tricky and theres a lot to take into consideration. this isnt an end all be all post and not the best written but im just speaking from my place as someone who is trans (though i myself am tme) and works with gender themes in my own characters so this is gonna be kinda long

So! Paimon

a lot of the issue from the back and forth stems from how paimon is written by default. When you meet paimon, he's designated as just a pretty boy that likes to crossdress and they emphasize heavily that paimon is a man every time they talk about his femininity and how he presents himself.

Now crossdressing itself is not at all transphobic, hell drag is a big thing and its not uncommon for queens do figure out that they're transfem when they get into it. In fact a lot of queer people do push to erase gender boundaries within clothes because in the end....clothing is just cloth wear what you want be who you want to be, whether it be a woman wearing masc clothing, a man wearing femme clothes, or anyone just wearing something neutral feeling.

Where it becomes a problem is the push to enforce paimon's masculinity at every turn. While its good that paimon isn't a character that's put in to be played for laughs (as feminine men and trans women often are in media), it comes off odd in a way for paimon to have a feminine voice, dress femininely, love feminine things...and then at every point have it enforced heavily that paimon is a man. THAT is where a lot of the issue stems from at when you see it happening as someone who has seen transmisogyny (if this is your first time seeing the word, its transphobia that arises specifically for a trans woman being a woman. ergo the word being a mix of transphobia and misogyny) in practice it looks worrying. When you're someone who knows how to spot this kind of thing it can feel like paimon's gender nonconformity is being demonized (while they also highlight it. its an odd mix).

This isn't to say that it is a concious thing that's being pushed either i'm not saying the writers are personally transmisogynists at all, HOWEVER since transphobia and transmisogyny is rampant in society to the point where it subconsciously controls biases, thats how it can come off transmisogynistic. Think of it as similar to racism: even if you think you yourself are not racist theres still likely biases you have picked up or have been taught just because theyre so pervasive in society. This doesnt mean its your fault it just means its something that you have to unlearn conciously and put in the work to do so.

This is also not just a problem with whb because again like i said, its systemic. Think about other characters in media who are written this way, such as Bridget from Guilty Gear, or Vivian from Paper Mario. While these two are different in that their status as trans women have been solidified, the treatment they've gotten is largely the same. Especially bridget considering how she for the longest was the poster child for the "femboy" archetype and how femininity is enforced yet also discouraged in these characters until she was finally labeled transgender in gg strive.

All this to say...its messy and theres a lot of points to consider so there really isnt a reason to go at each others throats. Using paimon's canon pronouns and gender isn't exactly a problem and neither is choosing to instead see paimon as a transgender woman and using she/her pronouns. But at the very least it doesn't hurt to educate yourself also and understand why paimon's writing can come off transmisogynistic and transphobic. WHB is not a game thats heralding itself on being progressive (even if there are aspects to it that might seem so) so there's not much to expect from it in that regard but still we can be mindful and discussion isnt bad.

(also a footnote i dont think ive seen any transfem or tma players of whb in the tag....ever but if anyone is and wants to add on or thinks ive overstepped let me know)

[the-crystalized-cosmos]

Welcome to The Crystalized Cosmos

[PT: Welcome to The Crystalized Cosmos /end PT]

This is a place for us to coin terms, share our wordmojis, as well as just kinda do our own thing. Everything will be tagged, so if you don't want to see one of those, feel free to block that tag. Most of the terms we use are easily found upon googling, but feel free to ask what something means! General Heads up that we are not consistent! We may post several things at once, then nothing for a week. Energy varies, we'll be back soon enough.

There's a lot more under the cut, including a general "About Us" section, BYF/DNI, how we handle various accessibility features, and a general overview of our tagging system. Fair Warning it is long, but sectioned to help against some of the visual overwhelmingness.

Pronouns and general info can be found on our pronouns.cc (pronouns.cc link). All terms and flags are free to use by anyone. Anyone can make an alt flag/synonym for our term. Please just give us credit for the original coining.

[ID: A thin light red line. /End ID]

About Us

[PT: About us /End PT]

We're a system primarily made up of 2 side systems and a large sparsystem, and a second sparsystem. We're a mediple mixed origin specutien system, however specifics differ between sisasystems. Our overall host (and main blog keeper) is Zev, who has been frontstuck most of our life. Overall we're trans nonbinary genderfluid, aspec omni, and polyamorous, though obviously this differs by headmate. We're also intersex.

We are both neurodivergent and physically disabled in several ways. This includes Autism and ADHD, Multiple Personality Disorders, RSD, a Tic Disorder, Breathing Problems, and more. We are currently a nearly full time cane user (full time when not home, part time at home), and are a part time AAC user due to speech and typing ability loss episodes.

More info on individual blog keepers can be found at on our pronouns.cc (pronouns.cc link) but it is a huge wip currently, so be warned.

[ID: A thin light yellow line. /End ID]

BYF: (Before You Follow)

[PT: BYF: (Before You Follow) /End PT]

Our "Before You Follow" list is a list of our identities/beliefs that may make you want to not interact with us, however we have no rules around any interactions revolving things on this list.

We are bodily an adult

We are not comfortable using Tulpa for our created headmates in any way, however do not care if someone else uses it.

There will probably be cussing on this page. It will be tagged, but you've been warned.

We reclaim slurs, a lot. We, collectively and as individuals, find them important to our identity. They will be tagged, but not TW or CW.

[ID: A thin light green line. /End ID]

DNI/DNF: (Do Not Interact/Do Not Follow)

[PT: DNI/DNF: (Do Not Interact/Do Not Follow) /End PT]

Anti Endos, Sysmeds

Anyone fine with sharing anti-endo rhetoric/post into spaces that are supposed to be safe spaces for endos. We're fine if you interact (comment, reblog, etc), but don't want you following. An exception is wikis and archive blogs. This rule is loose, and we are more lenient on it, but trust our personal moderation for us best.

Anti Mspec Monos (bi lesbian, omni turian, etc)

Anti Lesboys, Turigirls, etc

Don't believe being any form of Aspec or Intersex is inherently queer on its own.

Anti Xeno- or otherwise Neo- genders, Anti Neopronouns or other form of Pronoun Nonconformity (She/Her Gays, He/Him Nonbinary, etc)

Believe non-physical disabilities belong in cripple punk (I will not debate what counts as physically disabled. If you use the label physically disabled, you can be a part of cripple punk, if you do not, you are not a part of it).

Radqueer/TransID (TransID in the Radqueer way specifically, not from the communities they stole terms from)

Generally a bigot (Homophobic, Transphobic, Racist, Ableist, you get the point)

We reserve the right to block whoever we want for any reason we want (and do), and encourage you to do the same.

[ID: A thin light blue line. /End ID]

Accessibility

[PT: Accessibility /End PT]

Plain Text:

Plain text is text that a screen reader can read without breaking, and in Tumblr is needed for everything that is not regular text (like this), a list format, and indented text.

We add plain text in the following format you've seen throughout this post which is [PT: example /End PT]. We also make it indented for easier visual separation.

"Why do you bother using formats if you have to write plain text?"

We mostly use plain text for Header formats. This is because headers help us not get visually overwhelmed when reading our posts, and make it easier for us to read.

Image Descriptions:

An Image Description is a text describing what an image looks like. We will primarily do these for flags, emojis, and dividers as we don't plan to post any other pictures (but will describe all images we post).

Image Descriptions follow the format you've seen in this post, and look like the following [ID: example /End ID], and are indented for easy visual separation.

"Why don't you use alt text?"

We don't use alt text for a few reasons! 1: it commonly breaks on tumblr, while in-post IDs don't. 2: we actually find them inaccessible! While we don't need them for most posts, images with a lot of words are inaccessible to us, as we cannot highlight to keep track of words, and cannot read it otherwise. Alt text is not highlightable! So it is just as inaccessible to us as the image itself for us.

Dividers and Headers:

As mentioned, and as you have likely noticed, we use both dividers and headers a lot in our posts. While we understand this isn't the most accessible to screen readers, we tend to get very visually overwhelmed when looking at long posts without separation. Headers and Dividers make finding parts of a post fast, easy, and mean we can read back our own posts. But as stated we always transcribe these for screen readers, and keep it simple too avoid overwhelming everyone.

TQs:

This is a section we will add to, once we've decided how we plan to handle this.

However, some of us do have involuntary TQs, and it causes us the same pain to translate in the moment as it does trying to force a not scribal headmate to type. It doesn't work.

They are allowed to make posts here. This is not debatable. We are currently trying to figure out the best accessibility option on posts, that doesn't require completely erasing their TQs, as that is a part of them and deserves as much recognition as a member not being able to talk or type.

These posts will be tagged, and we understand sometimes access needs are incompatible. However, if you will be pissy about this, get out. We will not debate the validity of what you think members "can" do, or "should" do.

[ID: A thin light purple line. /End ID]

Tagging Format

[PT: Tagging Format /End PT]

This is not a comprehensive list of common tags on post, but just general guide to how we tag stuff.

Poster:

Each post will be signed by who posted it with a dash (-) after the hashtag and before the name (ex: #-Zev). If multiple folks post together, each name will be separate (ex: #-Scribs #-Adrian). You may also see roles if it's from just most or all of the folks who have that role (ex: #-NPD Holders).

Along with this, you may see #-Translator for some folks who cannot type on their own. We wont put who the translator was as to keep the focus on who created the post, whether they typed it or not.

We also tag reblogs as #-Reblog and add the member who reposted it (so if Zev reblogs something, you'll see both #-Reblog and #-Zev)

Accessibility Tags:

We tag posts as either #Has PT or #Needs PT if they have or need plain text respectively. Same with #Has ID or #Needs ID.

We will tag any posts we suspect of being eyestrain-y as #Eyestrain. This helps us immensely, and helps a lot of others too. However despite being heavily affected, we may miss something. If you find something eyestrain-y that we do not tag, please either send us an ask or message us! Preferably with the link.

We also plan to tag any posts with a non screen reader safe Typing Quirk as #TQ and #No PT.

We will not be posting any videos with jump scares or flashing lights, and therefore do not have tags for them.

Please let us know if we need to tag anything else for accessibility!

Slurs and Cussing:

We will not tag usage of slurs with a TW or CW. We will instead tag them as #Reclaimed Slur as well as the slur itself like #Cripple.

We do not tag individual cuss words, nor do we tag these as a TW or CW, but just tag them in general as #Cussing.

Creations:

We plan on coining terms (as well as flags to go with most if not all the flags), as well as wordmojis (emojis of words) that we use for communication. While we don't actively advertise requests, we are willing to at least contemplate requests (and very likely to do it for wordmojis, terms take more energy).

We will tag terms as #Terms, flags as #Flags, wordmojis as #Wordmojis and #Custom Emoji. They will also be tagged as other things related to it (so queer centered wordmojis will be tagged as #queer wordmojis and what the actual words are such as #lesbian wordmojis).

However #Terms, #Flags, and #Wordmojis are good things to search if you're looking for something here!

Bonus Tags!

#Hazrds Hoard - Hazards identities #I refuse to be silent - Blade's (mostly punk) stuff

Other Things To Look Out For:

This blog will likely have bug talk, and bug pics, tagged as #Bugs #TW Bugs #Bug Talk and #Bugs #TW Bugs #Bug Pics respectively.

We are also likely to posts Vents (#Venting), and Complaints (#Complaining) so feel free to block that if you want. (Vent is more heavy than complaints, complaints tend to be little things that annoy us).

We also tag especially system/plurality focused posts as #Pro Endo and #Endo Safe.

Again, this is not an exhaustive list, but might help some folks better filter content.

[danteadredkin]

Okay I have a lot of gnender questions but here's the big one that bothers me a lot:

I identify as a man, but I still like presenting femininely. I know that men can be feminine but for some reason when I wear a dress and do up my hair I look at myself and immediately see a girl. Sometimes I like they/them and other times I prefer he/him but I've never liked she/her, so whenever I wear those clothes I just feel yucky even though I love dressing up. And at first I thought I might be trans but then i realized that I didn't want to transition so I thought I might be genderfluid but something about that label just feels not right for me.

Sorry for turning this into a gnender rant but the gist of it is this: I don't think I'm trans but I know I'm not genderfluid, so is this just good 'ole confusion or is there an actual label for what I'm feeling>

I've had a few somewhat similar feelings before, with some labels feeling almost right but not quite, and sometimes two different ones feel right but they're conflicting labels, sometimes the labels that fit me change day to day, ect ect. What I eventually settled on that made me happy is just calling myself 'queer'. It's the word that I decided best describes me, encompassing everything and committing to nothing. I can be asexual one day and bi the next and trans the day after. It's lgbtqa+ all in one simple word.

As for gender labels specifically...the equivalent might be just calling your gender 'gender' lol. Personally, I would consider using 'queer' as my gender, if I was feeling what you describe. You also might find happiness or satisfaction in being one of those people who just say 'what are you, a cop?' when asked their gender. You might be happier trying to learn to live with and even love a concept without a name for your gender, leaving it unnamed. It doesn't have to have a label, if it's causing you more stress to look for one that's perfect than it's worth.

You might also try aiming for androgynous fashion, or looking male with your body but feminine with your clothes. Personally, I actually really liked experimenting with makeup styles meant to make female faces look more masculine, you might try that. I've also been thinking about trying male voice training, I think that would be similarly satisfying, you might try that.

You said something about not wanting to transition. I can kind of feel that. On the topic of my own gender...if it was a perfect world, and I could switch my body's gender with the flick of a button, and transphobia didn't exist, I think I would. I would pick a male body, but I would probably still dress it pretty feminine quite often. But this is not a perfect world, and transitioning is difficult and painful and expensive, and most of the world is some degree of transphobic, and honestly I barely have any body disphoria worth mentioning. So I choose to stay a woman most of the time, because it's the easier option. I often think that people who choose to transition are tougher and braver than any marine.

One place I think you might also find a kind of kinship is actually with drag queens, I think. I've met a few before. Now from what I understand, most drag queens won't answer directly if you ask their gender, but from what I understand, a fair number of them aren't actually trans women. They're just men who present feminine, sometimes or all the time, men who look like women, which sounds like some of what you've described. You might seek out your local drag queens (and kings) for further wisdom on the subject.

I also have a little brother who is trans, but he still chooses to present as very feminine. Most people look at him and see a girl. He's had a lot of mental health struggles around his gender. It feels to me like you have a lot in common with him. If you want, I could ask him to make a throw away account, and you could message him, or annon him? He might have better answers than me.

And also one thing that makes sense to me, that's helped me make sense of some gender things, is this thing that I heard once. It goes something like: "I am a man. And this is my skirt. And sense this skirt belongs to a man, that makes it a man's skirt, not a woman's skirt." This line has helped me make sense of a lot of gender things. That might help you too, when presenting feminine? Go through things one by one, and say 'I am a man, so that is a man's skirt. I am a man, so that is a man's ponytail. I am a man, so that is a man's makeup.' Or substitute they/them, when the mood strikes. Make it a kind of morning affirmation, maybe?

I kind of got all over the place with this reply...sorry about that. The end question was on labels, wasn't it? I'm sorry, but if there is a single, perfect label for what you are and what you're feeling, I don't know what it is. I've had some similar feelings, but the *not knowing* has never bothered me enough to really dig into it with a lot of self examination and research. I hope something of my experience helps though, and I hope you know I care about you no matter what your gender or clothes are. Even if there isn't a word for you, or if the word changes every day, you're still *you* and I still like *you* behind all the labels and the clothes and the body. I hope you likes *you* too. And you can feel free to ask me any time, though I'm sorry if I don't quite have the right words.

[tepehkwi]

Help. Some girl posted a stuff about trans girls nog being allowed to play bc ""hormonally and biology said they were stronger" (total bullshit) on her tiktok

and now I'm fighting with that girl and others. I told her that transphobia is rooted in colonialism, and I gave an example of two-spirit people and native Americans, and girlie said she was native American but she never heard of it. She asked "Which tribe uses that term" I answered "Oijbwe." I'm not listening to someone who takes the ideology of a culture that claims to not exist, or if you mention another tribe, girlie managed to say "But they made the women stay at home and the males go hunting".

I fucking can't with the transphobia and oh lord, idk what to say. I need to find more science arguments to win over that transphobe bitch (the girl in the video was white and the other she said she was native american so idk )

hi! i'm sorry this is kinda late. hope this answer can still help.

"science" arguments aren't necessarily going to "win over" anything, in my opinion. something everyone needs to understand is that most indigenous gender was understood as socially constructed, as role-based. unfortunately terfs/gcs and other reactionaries really don't care about that, they would rather use colonizer enlightenment era phrenology-esque bullshit to discredit indigenous knowledge, indigenous history, and the progressions/evolution of our traditions throughout history. especially when, as you mentioned, this transphobe is claiming that "see? ojibwe culture is still patriarchal" like unfortunately i just don't think that these people can really be reasoned with.

"two-spirit" was specifically intended to be pan-indigenous. and most comprehensive explainers talk about the coining of the term as a broad english-word umbrella under which ojibwe* labels like wiŋkte/wiŋkta, short for wiŋyankehca (*i also know the dakota/lakota use wiŋkte as well, or at least i know of dakota and lakota individuals who use it) and ikwekaazowag/ininiikaazowag can fall under

The term Two-Spirit originated in 1990 by Myra Laramee (Cree) at the Third Annual Inter-tribal Native American, First Nations, Gay and Lesbian American Conference in Winnipeg. It is a translation of “niizh manidoowag” or “two spirits” in the Anishinaabe language. (source)

but people like the woman you're describing in your ask are the kinds of people who aren't going to take this sort of thing seriously. they're going to disbelieve actual science, because they are committed to pseudoscience. i don't personally respect most of the social sciences but they are still more correct than pseudoscience about sex/sexuality and gender, and unfortunately people like this aren't going to believe anything that the social sciences put forth to discredit their pseudoscience arguments either. transphobes like her will use anyone serving as a disruption of their echo chamber to either point out or make up contradictions or other facts they can misconstrue as logical flaws.

and i could also go on about dealing with potential pretendians vs. people using their indigenous heritage as an excuse to 'speak for' us all... but at the end of the day, people like this MIGHT listen to reason if you're able to do a bit of digging? i'm afraid i'm not the best person to ask about where to source articles.

i also have really mixed feelings about people using twospirit (also other nonwestern cultural genders and/or intersex people) as a device for disproving transphobic arguments. twospirit is, despite being a combo of english words, a placeholder for concepts that are utterly un-translateable into english or any western idea. it has to do with gender and sexuality and sex, or all at once, or one more than others, etc... and the thing is, the history of third-gender or twospirit people who can't be categorized by colonial standards of sex/gender is mostly irrelevant to the argument that needs to be made and needs to be focused on, which is trans liberation.

even if transgender people were a recent phenomena, the point of this shouldn't be to find all these historical examples to prove legitimacy. i mean, i'm therian, earthgender, and a furry as well as being ndn. and therian and otherkin, noun-gender labels, and other stuff like this doesn't really have a ~robust history~ except in online communities. but we still exist. and we still deal with a lot of judgement. and my ~weird~ xenogender labels are still descriptors of a non-cisgender identity, i'm still a trans person through a western lens whether i identify outwardly with the centuries-old menôkênâwa ketti-onôkênâwa two-spirited concept belonging to my culture or as the 21st century inventions of earthgender and skygender. history is not end-all be-all, here.

the entire point is that gender variance is oppressed, and we who don't conform are in need of liberation, and we are demanding it now. on the basis of bodily autonomy and rights to self-determine one's own gender identity and sexuality, this is what needs to be argued more, in my opinion.

this might be a little too much ranting on my part but idk... like, sometimes trying to debate these people stokes their fire :(

[that-disabled-radfem]

Happy back-to-school y’all

I’ve attended and worked at a couple of super liberal universities. I avoid the gender studies departments for obvious reasons and I still had a lecture in which the female prof gave a brief overview of TERFs and proclaimed her hatred of JKR. Being openly critical of gender ideology, the porn industry, kinks, and ‘sex work’ are the kind of things that can ruin your future in academia. Not to mention the fact that any speech or actions that could be labelled transphobic (ie. defining woman as adult human female) can get you a suspension according to many universities anti-hate-speech policies. 

So, here’s a list of small and smallish (small in terms of overt TERFery, some may require more effort than others) radical feminist actions you can take as a university student:

(this is a liberal arts perspective so if you’re a stem gal this may not apply. but also if you’re in stem maybe you can actually acknowledge that women are oppressed as a sex class without getting kicked out of school. idk)

(Note for TRAs hate reading this: One of the core actions of radical feminism is creating female networks. This is not so that we can brainwash people into being anti-trans. This is because female solidarity is necessary for creating class consciousness and overturning patriarchy. It is harder to subjugate the female sex when we stand together.)

Take classes with female profs. Multiple sections of a class? Pick the one taught by a woman. Have to chose an elective? Only look at electives offered by women. When classes have low numbers they get cancelled. When classes are super popular, universities are forced to consider promoting the faculty that teach them

Make relationships with these female profs. Go to office hours. Chat after class. Ask them about their research. Building female networks is sooooo important!

Actually fill in your end of year course feedback forms. Profs often need these when applying for tenure or applying for a job at another university so it is very important (especially with young and/or new profs) that you fill out these forms and give specific examples of how great these women are. Go off about what you love about them! Give her a brilliant review because you know the idiot boy in that class who won’t shut up even though he knows nothing is going to give her only negative feedback because he thinks any woman who leaves the house is a feminazi b*tch. 

(note: obviously don’t go praising any prof - female or male - who is blatantly racist, homophobic, etc.)

(Also if you have shitty male profs write down all the horrible things they have done and said and put it in these forms because once a shitty man gets tenure they are virtually untouchable)

(also also, leave a good review on rate my profs or whatever other thing students use to figure out if they want to take classes. idc if you copy paste your feedback from the formal review. rave about the class to your friends. do what you can to get good enrolment for that prof for reasons above.)

Participate in class. Talk over the male students. Say what you mean and mean it. Call out the boys when they say dumb shit

Write about women. If you have the option to make a text written by a woman your primary text in an essay, do it. Pick the female-centred option if you’re writing an exam-essay with multiple prompts. (Profs often look at what works on their syllabus are being written about/engaged with as a marker of whether to keep those texts the next time they teach the class. If there are badass women on your syllabus, write about them to keep them on the syllabus) Use female-written secondary sources whenever possible. 

(pro tip: many women in academia are more than happy to talk to you about their papers. expand your female networks by reaching out to article authors through email and asking them about their cool shit)

Get your essays published! Many departments have undergrad journals you can publish in. This will ensure more people read about the women you write about and will demonstrate to the department that people like learning about women

Consider trying to publish your undergrad essay with a legit peer-reviewed journal. If you can do it, your use of female-written secondary sources boosts the reputations of the women who wrote those secondary sources. Also this helps generally to increase scholarship about women’s writing!

Present your papers at conferences! Many schools have their own undergraduate/departmental conferences that you can present at. Push yourself by submitting to outside conferences. Bring attention to women’s works by presenting your papers. Take a space at a conference that would otherwise be reserved for mediocre men

Talk to your profs and/or your department and/or your university about mandating the inclusion of female works in classes if this isn’t something they do already

Sit next to other women in your classes. Talk to them. Make friends. Form study groups. Proofread each other’s essays. Give each other knowing looks when the boys are being dumb. Just interact with other women! Build those female networks!

Be generous with your compliments. A female classmate and I were talking to a prof after class and the classmate told me (out of the blue) that I always have such interesting things to say. I think about that whenever I’m lacking confidence about my academic skills. Compliment the women in your classes for speaking up, for sharing their opinions, for challenging your classmates/profs, for doing cool presentations, etc.

Talk to other women about sexist things going on on campus. Make everyone aware of the sexist profs. Complain about how there are many more tenured men than tenured women. Go on rate my professor and be explicit about how the sexist profs are sexist

Be active on campus and in societies. If a society has an all male executive or is male-dominated, any women who join that society make it less intimidating for more women to join. Run for executive positions! Bring in more women! 

(Pro tip: Many societies’ elections are super gameable. You can be eligible to vote in a society election sometimes just by being a student at that university — even without having done anything with the society before. Other societies might just require that you’ve taken a class in a particular department or attended a society event. (Check the society’s governing documents.) Use those female networks you’ve been building. If you can bring three or four random people to vote for you, that might be enough for you to win. Societies have trouble meeting quorum (the minimum number of people in attendance to do votes) so it is really super achievable to rig an election with a few friends. And don’t feel bad about this. The system is rigged against women so you have every right to exploit loopholes!)

(Also feel free to go vote “non-confidence”/“re-open election” if only shitty men are running. Too often people see that only candidates they don’t like are running and so they give up. But you can actually stop them getting elected)

Your campus may have a LGBTQIA+alphabetsoup society. That society definitely needs more L and B women representation. It may be tedious to argue with the nb straight dudes who insist that it’s fine to use “q***r” in the society’s posters and that attraction has nothing to do with genitals, but just imagine what could happen if we could make these sorts of societies actually safe spaces for same-sex attracted women and advocated for our concerns

Attend random societies’ election meetings. Get women elected and peace out. (or actually get involved but I’m trying to emphasize the lowest commitment option with this one)

Write for the campus newspaper. Write about what women are doing - women’s sports, cool society activities, whatever. Review female movies, books, tv shows, local theatre productions. Write about sexism on campus. We need more female by-lines and more stories about women

Get involved with your campus’s sexual assault & r*pe hotline/sexual assault survivor’s centre/whatever similar organization your campus has if you can. This is hard work and definitely not for everyone (pls take care of yourself first, especially if you are a survivor)

(If your campus doesn’t have an organization for supporting survivor’s of sexualized violence, start one! This is probably going to be a lot of hard work though, so don’t do it alone)

Talk to your student council about providing free menstrual hygiene products on campus if your campus doesn’t already do this. If your campus provides free condoms (which they probs do), use that as leverage (ie. ‘sex is optional, menstruation is not. so why do we have free condoms and no free pads?’)

If you’re an older student, get involved with younger students (orientation week and such activities are good for this). Show the freshman that you can be a successful and well-liked woman without shaving your legs, wearing heels, wearing make-up, etc. Mentor these young women. Offer to go for coffee or proofread essays. 

Come to class looking like a human being. Be visibly make-up less, unshaven, unfeminine, etc. to show off the many different ways of being a woman

Talk to the custodial staff and learn their names. (I know there are men who work in this profession, but it is dominated by low-income women) Say hi in the hallways, ask them about their lives, show them they’re appreciated

Be explicit with your language. When you are talking about sex-based oppression, say it. Don’t say ‘sex worker’ when you mean survivor of human trafficking. This tip is obviously a bit tricky in terms of overt TERFyness, so use your best judgement

That’s all from me for now! Feel free to add your suggestions and remember that feminism is about action

[otakusheep15]

Twisted Wonderland Queer Hcs

Now that I’ve gotten a bit farther into the game, I wanted to make a more in-depth post about my sexuality/gender hcs for the Twst cast. These will basically be a combination of me actually analyzing the game and forming legitimate theories about the characters, as well as me just projecting onto my faves. Remember that this is a safe space, and that all headcanons for the characters are welcome. I don’t want to see any fighting over headcanons. This is all just for fun. 

Heartslabyul

Riddle

Riddle is genderfluid, and would be okay with using any pronouns, including neos. Growing up, he was very sheltered and most likely had no way of properly expressing their identity without fear of punishment. When Riddle arrives at NRC, it’s the first time he’s ever truly able to express herself. Playing around with different pronouns and labels really helped Riddle come out of their shell, and taught them how to be more expressive in the process. As for attraction, she still hasn’t quite figured it out, but Riddle knows that he definitely likes men for sure. 

Trey

Trey is a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is pansexual. He just doesn’t understand why gender has to be such an important issue when it comes to attraction. Trey focuses strictly on personality, and has never once cared what gender someone is. As for his own gender, Trey has always felt comfortable with his identity as a man, but he certainly doesn’t mind being more feminine every now and then. 

Cater

Cater is non-binary, and uses they/he pronouns, as well as neos. They are also bisexual demiromantic. Cater refuses to use she/her pronouns because it reminds them of their sisters and how they treated him growing up, but he’s fine with any others. I also feel like Cater is the type to sleep around a lot, but has a hard time developing actual romantic relationships. They’ve probably slept with a good portion of the student body, but they’ve never actually dated anyone before, and rarely has he had any crushes that weren’t strictly sexual. 

Ace

Ace is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s bi-curious. As we all know, he’s had a girlfriend before, so he knows he likes women. I don’t think Ace would have ever even thought about liking men until he starts going to NRC. There, he sees just how many of the students are queer, and he begins questioning his own attraction. Ace still hasn’t quite figured it out yet, but all of his friends are very supportive as he figures himself out. 

Deuce

Deuce is a transgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is queer. I honestly have no canon evidence to support why I think Deuce is trans, but I’m trans and I’ve decided he is too. He probably came out in middle school, back when he was still a delinquent. A major part of the fighting was because of transphobes making fun of him or bullying him over his identity. As for his sexuality, he’s never been one to put a label on it since no labels he’s seen really fit how he feels. For that reason, Deuce just says that he’s queer to make it easier on himself. 

Savanaclaw

Leona

Leona is a cisgender man, and uses he/they pronouns. They are also unlabeled. Leona doesn’t care much for putting how he feels into words, so he just doesn’t bother with it. If they absolutely had to, they would say he’s on the aromantic and pansexual spectrums, but nothing more specific than that. Romantic attraction is something they’ve struggled with, and I don’t think he’s ever had a romantic crush on someone before. However, Leona really likes having sex, and he really doesn’t care what gender his partner is as long as they’re good in bed. 

Ruggie

Ruggie is a demiboy, uses they/he pronouns, and they’re bisexual with a preference for women. They’re probably one of the few students at NRC who didn’t have a huge struggle with his gender or sexuality. Ruggie just kind of woke up one day, realized they liked using they/them pronouns, and that they liked multiple genders, and was chill with it. Having grown up in the Sunset Savana, Ruggie naturally developed an appreciation for women, and most of his crushes so far have been women or fem-aligned people. Maybe only one or two crushes have been for men, and they didn’t last very long. 

Jack

Jack is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s still questioning. To be honest, Jack has been questioning both his sexuality and gender, but he’s chosen to focus on one thing at a time. As far as he knows, he’s only really felt attraction to women, but there have been occasions where he might’ve felt the same way towards men. Right now, he’s not entirely sure, but he’s not super stressed over it at the moment. Jack is the type to just go with the flow and see what happens in this case. He’s certainly not opposed to having feelings for a man, he just doesn’t know if he ever has or ever will. 

Octavinelle

Azul

Azul is a transgender demiboy who uses he/they pronouns, and he is demiromantic. Azul isn’t quite sure what label to put on their sexuality, but they know he likes boys for sure. And as for romance, Azul has a hard time finding that connection like most others around him. It’s not like he’s never experienced attraction before, he just never felt any strong romantic attractions to anyone. Gender was also a bit of a struggle for them for a while. Gender in the sea is different than on land, so Azul’s feelings on the matter only got more complicated as he started NRC. Eventually, he came to understand himself a bit more, but sometimes he stays up questioning if this is actually how he feels. 

Jade

Jade is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, and they are unlabeled. They have never really been one to put labels on their sexuality. To them, it just isn’t necessary to do so. However, Jade does find some comfort in putting a label to their gender identity. It just makes them feel more comfortable. As for sexuality, they just kind of like whoever they like, and that’s that. They also experience attraction differently depending on the person, so it’s hard for them to label exactly how they feel. Overall, Jade is pretty chill and just kind of goes with the flow. 

Floyd

Floyd is a demiboy and uses he/they pronouns, as well as neos, and they are bisexual with a preference for men. Out of the three Octavinelle students, Floyd is the most expressive when it comes to his sexual and gender identity. They’re never one to hide who they are, and he’s very openly proud. He’s also the one most obsessed with labels. Floyd is someone who, I imagine, likes putting words to things because it helps them explain how they feel more easily. 

Scarabia

Kalim

Kalim is a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is omisexual. He’s always been comfortable with the gender he was assigned at birth, but Kalim is fine with presenting more femininely. If anything, he actually likes to embrace his feminine side every once in a while. As for his sexuality, he’s always known he was attracted to multiple genders, but he usually experiences his attraction in different ways. The ways Kalim experiences a crush on a man is different than crushes on women, and both are different than his crushes on those outside of the binary. Kalim is also very expressive about his identity, and he’s not one to shy away or hide it at all. 

Jamil

Jamil is a transgender man, uses he/they pronouns, and is on the aroace spectrum. They’re not exactly sure if they are fully aroace or just on the spectrum somewhere, but he knows he’s never really experienced romantic or sexual attraction before, nor have they ever had the desire for either. Now, Jamil is certainly open to the idea for both if he ever meets someone he develops feelings for, but they doubt the day will ever come around. Not to mention, his top priority is his work, and they’d much rather focus on that for the time being. 

Pomefiore

Vil

Vil is unlabeled, uses he/him or she/her pronouns, and is queer. He’s never been one for labels, and chooses to just do without them. Instead, Vil just focuses on how he feels in the moment since it changes day to day. Somedays, Vil feels more feminine and prefers she/her pronouns, but most days he connects more with he/him. Just like his gender, Vil feels very little need to label his sexuality. Some days he feels a stronger attraction to women, other days he much prefers men, and lots of days he prefers those outside of the spectrum. To Vil, there’s no point in labeling such complicated emotions, so he simply chooses not to, and he says as much whenever asked in interviews. 

Rook

Rook is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is pansexual. He’s never really been one to look at gender when experiencing attraction. As is very canon to Rook, he just looks for beauty, and anyone can fit that role for him. Rook is hardly shy when it comes to his feelings, and he’ll tell someone when he is attracted to them. In terms of his own gender, Rook feels very comfortable being a man, and he’s never once thought about being anything else. 

Epel

Epel is a transgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is still questioning. Gender is something Epel has always struggled with growing up. Where he’s from, men are supposed to be big and strong, not small and weak like he is. His stature has always been a major point of dysphoria for him, and that’s why he’s so intent on becoming stronger. Epel is also insanely jealous of some of the other trans boys at NRC because they’re much more masc than he is. As for sexuality, Epel still hasn’t really figured it out. He’s never really felt attracted to anyone before, and he’s not super intent on trying to date anyways. 

Ignihyde

Idia

Idia is unlabeled, uses they/them pronouns, as well as neos, and they’re demisexual. Idia has no intention on putting a label on their gender identity. All they know is they’re not comfortable with either of the binary options, and they feel much more at ease with they/them or any neo pronouns. And when it comes to attraction, they don’t experience much of it. Idia is much more focused on their fictional crushes to care much about irl crushes. Plus, sex has just never really been their thing. Yeah, they feel sexual attraction sometimes, but it’s hardly ever directed at a real person. 

Ortho

Ortho is a bit of a special case, seeing as he’s a robot. If this were the real Ortho, he would have been a demiboy who used he/they pronouns, and he would’ve been bisexual. But, seeing as this is a robot version of Ortho, it’s a bit different. The version that Idia created will respond to any pronouns, including neos, and he wasn’t programmed to feel any sort of attraction, sexual or romantic. Because of this, you could say he’s unlabeled on all accounts. 

Diasomnia

Malleus

Malleus is agender, uses they/them pronouns, and they’re queer. Having lived as long as they have, Malleus has had tons of time to explore various sexualities and gender identities. I feel like, depending on the time period, Malleus labels themself differently, and these are the labels they choose to use at this time. They don’t feel any major connection to gender as a whole, so finding the term agender really helped them put a label to how they felt. In a similar way, Malleus had a hard time putting a label on their sexuality, so they thought the term queer was a nice way to put it until they could really sort out their emotions a bit better. 

Lilia

Lilia is unlabeled, uses any pronouns, and is aroace. By now, Lilia has seen and heard everything they need to. He’s dated and he’s had sex, and now they’re just kind of over it. Not to mention, Lilia sees everyone as a child, so it’d be a bit weird for her to try and date at all. That’s why they now identify as aroace, since it’s been quite some time since he’s felt any sort of attraction. As for gender, she’s decided that he’s fine with any and all pronouns, and will honestly respond to whatever someone calls her. Lilia is, however, particularly fond of she/her pronouns as of late. 

Silver

Silver is a transgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s still questioning. It was pretty obvious from a young age that Silver identified as a man, even if he couldn’t see it himself at the time. Lilia, however, was quick to pick up on it, and introduced him to the idea of being a boy. Now, Silver is basically fully transitioned, and he’s feels virtually no dysphoria. As for his sexuality, Silver still hasn’t quite figured it out, but he’s not too concerned over it. He knows that he’ll figure it out eventually, and he can always ask Lilia or Malleus for advice if need be. 

Sebek

Sebek is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is bisexual. He knew pretty much right away that he was attracted to multiple genders, and he embraced it pretty early on. It was mostly thanks to Lilia and Malleus being so supportive and understanding. Sebek is not one to hide away, and will loudly call anyone out for disrespecting his identity. In terms of gender, Sebek feels relatively comfortable as a man, and he has no intention of changing that aspect of himself. However, he’s still more than willing to be a bit more feminine if asked. 

A couple of other random facts I should mention. I hc all of the boys as polyamorous, or they’re at least open to the idea. Also, I do have my own hcs about relationships between the characters, but I’ll probably make that into a seperate post if anyone’s interested.  

[moonlightsapphic]

CW: Biphobia, lesbophobia, misoginy

There’s this one lesbian/neurodivergence page on Facebook that I love immensely. She’s funny and talented, and talks about mental health, lesbian/sapphic experience, the dangers of capitalism and importance of trans inclusion, among other things.

However:

She stubbornly and repetitively keeps posting about how the split model of attraction should never apply to any identities outside the ace/aro spectrum; bisexual (homoromantic) lesbians or biromantic lesbians are actually just bisexuals who want to take up lesbian spaces, which should be completely devoid of men. “Words mean things,” and “bi-lesbians” give men more room to harrass and coerce lesbians into relations they don’t want. “Bi-lesbian” is also a transphobic or TERF identity.

She implies that pan people are just bi people who pretend to be woke, since bi and pan are “interchangeable” identities. Using pan might even be kind of biphobic because it implies bi attraction is limited to only two binary cis genders.

She claims that any people who identify as lesbian but have slept with men since (specifically to cheat on their sapphic partner) are just actually bi, and another example of bi women putting lesbians in harm’s way by pretending to be lesbian and spreading misconceptions.

She has talked extensively about this: As a lesbian, she has faced a lot of discrimination and oppression at the hands of the comphet patriarchy, and it’s really important to her to have exclusively sapphic spaces (devoid of men or attraction to them) for herself and the wider lesbian community.

However, I still don’t see why the split model of attraction can’t apply to identities outside of the ace/aro spectrum. The absence of attraction is a spectrum because attraction itself is a spectrum.

Yes, the label “bisexual” is always going to include anyone attracted to more than one gender, or gender(s) additional to their own, in any way, to any varying degree. Bisexuality, by definition, is extremely fluid. So bi-lesbians do, without doubt, fall under the bi spectrum, and they use their understanding of the (non-fluid) "lesbian" label in combination with other identities to create a more complete picture of their sexual and romantic orientation.

But why we should be against labels that further specify where people fall under the bi spectrum? Among other definitions, many “bisexual lesbians” identify as femmes who are sexually attracted to more than one gender but romantically only attracted to women; many “biromantic lesbians” identify as femmes who are romantically attracted to more than one gender, but sexually attracted to only women. Those are really useful distinctions that can help queer women under the bi+ umbrella find community and compatible partners.

I also think it’s important to note here that I’ve rarely seen similar infighting on the internet about bisexual (homoromantic) gay men, or biromantic gay men—who absolutely exist. (Incidentally, no one worries about biromantic heterosexual or bisexual heteroromantic people either, who exist as well—It’s almost as if they’re not interesting enough, or queer enough, to be part of this conversation.)

Of course, the patriarchy has designed it so that men in general are in relatively much less danger of being preyed on by women, so it’s not as urgent for us to rush to protect exclusively achillean spaces.

Additionally, the patriarchy conditions women to seek men’s attention by any means possible. Therefore, many believe it must be reasonable to worry about bi-lesbians. For example:

Maybe they’re just bi women or straight women labeling themselves that way to seek the attention of men who want to fetishize lesbians, hence directly endangering "true" lesbians.

Perhaps it’s just bi or straight women who think lesbian communities are safer (or more fun!) for them to hang out in. Still misleading men and endangering lesbians.

Maybe they’re just plain old lesbians who think that trans and non-binary femmes aren’t already included in lesbianism, so that’s why they think they must use the “bi-” prefix. Maybe they’re just transphobic TERFs!

Perhaps these women just don’t know what the terms “bi” and “lesbian” mean? We should let them know bisexuality is fluid and lesbianism strictly excludes all men, and if they still don’t get rid of their bi-lesbian label after that, then that must mean they’re not only biphobic, but especially lesbophobic as well!

So when it comes to sapphic people with complex multi-sexual/romantic identities, we must man(?)splain and gatekeep in order to “protect both bisexual and lesbian people from biphobia and lesbophobia respectively.” “Bi-lesbian” is, under every circumstance, a phobic term.

Well, here’s my hot take instead: Can we just … leave queer women alone? Let them decide for themselves what their identity is instead of assuming we know all about their lives and mansplaining their choices to them—essentially just bombarding them with our internalised misoginy? Instead of demonizing them and assuming they’re dumb and uninformed off the bat? The patriarchy is bad enough without us attacking our own.

When a person identifies as ace/alloromantic or aro/allosexual, we don’t claim that they’re putting all the aro people or ace people (respectively) in danger of being harrassed or coerced by allo people. Instead, we advocate to educate people on the split model of attraction, the nuanced complexity of sexual and romantic orientation, and the range of sexual, sensual, romantic, queer, and even platonic relations. Perhaps even more importantly, we hold perpetuators accountable for any harassment, instead of blaming other queer people.

If we can do that for the ace/aro community, it’s hypocritical to not do that for women with complex multisexual identities too. Especially since there’s plenty of women in the aro/ace umbrella that we’re already supporting without question.

Which serves as a great segue into my next point: When people try to lump any and all multisexual identities into one label (“bisexual, a wonderful and fluid identity!”), it already shows that they are unwilling to deal with the specificities of the complex multisexual (or polysexual, or bi+) spectrum.

And *cough* that kind of smells like biphobia disguised as bi+ allyship.

It’s true—Bisexuality is fluid, and so has room for preferences towards one or more genders. Because of that, it also works as an umbrella term. Pansexuality is widely viewed as attraction regardless of gender. Again, some people who identify with that sort of “gender-free” attraction may use the more general bi label, others will choose to use the more specific pan label, and both are valid. If a pan person is biphobic, then it’s simply because they’re an asshole, not because the pan label itself is “problematic”.

Similarly, a person’s relationship history (who they’ve kissed or dated or slept with) does not define who they’re attracted to. We can’t just cite that information and claim to know their sexuality. You can have relations with someone (because of comphet, or because of an infinite range of other reasons, both positive and negative) without being romantically, sensually, or sexually attracted to them in any way. Misconceptions, gatekeeping, and misoginy in regards to this is what’s already led to the whole horrible “gold-star lesbian” debacle.

It’s incredibly important that we let people choose the label(s) they resonate with most instead of slapping a label on them ourselves. This includes simply identifying as “queer”, going label-free, using the split-attraction model, and other niche labels that make plenty of ~ traditional ~ queer people pretty mad.

Identities aren’t supposed to be like neat boxes we can fit people into, even though that would make the lives of lesbians easier. (That is, if our ideal world indeed is one in which we assume we have to dumb things down for men.) I truly empathise, but if we don’t give people the basic respect to label themselves comfortably, are we really that different from the homophobes and transphobes that try to force cis-heteronormativity down our throats for the “natural order of things”? Or the biphobes that think we’re always confused and disloyal? Or the lesbophobes that think we just need to sleep with the “right” man?

Gatekeeping just for the sake of gatekeeping will always, always harm the LGBTQ+ community more than it helps us. You can advocate for exclusively lesbian or sapphic spaces without specifically cracking down on bi-lesbian identity instead of focusing first on helping, healing and providing a safe space. (Have you considered: Asking mspec women to leave exclusively lesbian spaces and find other sapphic spaces instead, instead of starting a whole debate on their label?) Trying to box queer women in clearly hurts both lesbians and bisexuals, the very two groups you claim you want to protect.

Some of these lesbian communities would prefer the term "sapphic bi" to be used instead, to maintain the sanctity of the lesbian label from any association with attraction towards men. But sapphic, like wlw, is a broad descriptor more than it is a specific sexual or romantic orientation. Very few people have historically used it as an identity, and that by default renders it less useful—though I still think there is potential there for compromise with wider use.

Still, I think identity-policing isn’t productive. It creates hostile environments for queer, and especially questioning, femmes who are heavily involved with relations with other femmes. Gender is a social construct and never had neat borders, so it’s natural that sexuality isn’t going to be so easy to define in all cases either.

This account is a safe space for anyone who wants to learn, improve, grow, and always remain kind to others. You are free to use the label that resonates with you most to the best of your informed understanding. Identities can change over time. Only you define yourself. I know it’s hard, and complicated. I support you. <3

[that-irishman-fan]

sherlock sexuality headcanons!

Ay, everyone! I’m back with a brief list on my personal sexuality headcanons for the characters of the hit BBC show “Sherlock” that I fucking love. I’m only on the last episode of Series Three, so if y’all are going to comment or reblog, please NO SPOILERS! Anyways, sorry for my rants, I’ll just get right into what you came for here! As a LGBTQ+ member myself, I am so excited to write these headcanons for these OBVIOUSLY GAY cinnamon-buns! Let’s do it!

SHERLOCK HOLMES

Asexual biromantic in my opinion. I totally think he’s attracted to Watson, in a romantic and platonic sort of way, rather than a sexual infatuation. Johnlock is totally valid to me, and I can absolutely get behind it as one of my many ships!

DOCTOR JOHN WATSON

Bisexual, through and through, I fucking stand by this! I think he prefers women, but is in denial about his gay side. And I know that I am not the only one who believes that John is bi, though in my opinion he is still trying to process the fact that he likes both women and men. 

MYCROFT HOLMES

Queer, simply because he doesn’t like to use labels. I think he’s on the asexual spectrum like his brother, but is more open to having romantic relationships or sexual encounters than Sherlock is. Mycroft doesn’t really put limits on who he loves, he just does and that’s it, nothing more. 

DETECTIVE INSPECTOR GREG LESTRADE

Bisexual too, in my opinion, with no specific preference between male or female. Mystrade is my personal favourite Sherlockian ship in the fandom, and I could totally picture it happening. Lestrade was apart the community as a young punk in punk seventies London, and he still is even after cleaning up his life. 

MOLLY HOOPER

Closeted pansexual who prefers men or out of the binary individuals, but she won’t be fussy about who she loves. Sherlock knows Molly is LGBTQ+ but has kept his mouth shut out of the small ounce of love he holds for her. 

IRENE ADLER

LESBIAN and SAPIOSEXUAL in capital letters, everyone! Fly the sapphic flag, because Irene is as gay as you can get. People might question my reasoning due to the fact that in the show she is portrayed as being sexually/romantically attracted to Sherlock--but I think it was more of an intellectual lust rather than physical, if that makes any sense. 

MARY MORSTAN-WATSON

Bisexual, leaning towards women, I think. She was totally attracted to John and I will not hesitate to say that I ship them completely! They are perfect together, in my opinion. I like JohnLock too, but there is something about John x Mary that is very charming. But yes, Mary could be with a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter to her. 

PROFESSOR JAMES MORIARTY

Pansexual, and I won’t hear anything else! That was a joke, I respect all headcanons, y’all! I know pans when I see them, being pansexual myself, and he is pan in every single way possible! Moriarty has no limitations or constraints holding him back, and gender never mattered to him anyways. I will say that he’s defo aromantic, preferring a sexual relationship or platonic friendship instead of a marriage/dating scenario. HE IS MY PAN KING, THOUGH! 

MRS. HUDSON

A straight ally--she is super supportive of gay and transgender rights, and was one of the original JohnLock shippers too. To her, it isn’t wrong or strange to be LGBTQ+ at all. Mrs. Hudson is sympathetic, caring, and loving, there is not a homophobic or transphobic bone in her body!

[sugarcubetikki]

a lot of people argue that one of the reasons that mike is gay is bc he thought el looks like a boy. that doesn’t sit right with me?? he acknowledged that el is a girl and liked her anyways (assuming that he liked el in the first place)

its okay to hc mike as gay and not bi ! but ppl can do that without making transphobic implications

hey anon (apologies for the late response I’ve been travelling I wanted to respond properly to this),

I think you’re viewing things through quite a simplified lens and have misinterpreted some things.

No one is exactly saying that El looking like a boy is what mainly could’ve contributed in Mike’s romantic feelings for her in S1 to argue his queerness.

The idea here is that Mike is a young teen coming into terms with his sexuality and is facing realistic struggles to do so as many young queer people do. He hasn’t fully explored it or come to terms with it. It’s okay to be confused about who you are. Besides, it’s difficult being queer and living in a society that is heteronormative and follows traditional gender norms too.

I don’t think it’s invalid to say that El’s boyish appearance influenced the romantic nature of Mike’s feelings. When you’re initially coming into terms with your queerness and what you like, I don’t think it’s odd or weird to say that Mike feels more drawn to more boyish things than feminine ones. I think that’s what most people mean whilst using this argument rather than any transphobic intent.

However, with the way you’re suggesting, I wouldn’t be very accepting of the take that Mike’s love for El/feelings for El are entirely rooted on the fact she looks like a boy because that’s not true and it sounds ridiculous and I don’t think that’s what Bylers are saying at all but if people are saying that then yes it’s quite problematic. I think there’s a lot of other factors and major reasons intertwined with why Mike’s romantic feelings for El could not entirely be authentic rather than her looking like a boy being the only argument.

What people mainly argue for Mike being gay is mainly because he hasn’t shown romantic interest and attraction towards girls the way Dustin and Lucas have.

You said that he acknowledged El was a girl and liked her but it’s more complicated than that. What we believe is that his romantic relationship with El seems like something that was largely influenced by heteronormative pressure, romantic curiosity during that age and also the fact that he was young/coming into terms with who he is. I think he’s grown in a more complex way as the show progressed and his relationship with El has changed to make sense in accordance with a lot of the evidence we already have for Mike’s queerness too.

Also, a lot young queer teens have dated/had feelings for people of the opposite sex whilst very young and later looked back on it realising how those relationships were more fuelled by heteronormativity, romantic curiosity as well as a confusion with distinguishing between platonic and romantic or sexual love which is completely valid.

I personally don’t mind if Mike is gay or bi specifically. I don’t think it invalidates any arguments about his comphet, internalised homophobia or about whether his feelings for El were ever truly romantic because whatever you label/identify as all queer people can go through this experience.

At the end of the day, we’re all figuring ourselves out, and the way I see it is that Mike is too with his feelings and who he is.

[transmasc-wizard]

@letters-to-lgbt-kids' 22 Questions for Nonbinary November!

1.Which labels do you use? Transmasculine, nonbinary, genderqueer, nonbinary trans guy, transmasc. (only counting gender labels)

2.What are your pronouns? he/they! No preference.

3.How old were you when you came out to yourself as nonbinary? Uh... idk exactly but it was like a year ago? ish? depends on whether you count the other 3 times i came out to myself lmao.

4.What’s one thing you’d like to tell your younger self? "hey there's actually a Reason you hate being called pretty and avoid mirrors like the plague and really want a flat chest. Wild, right"

5.Is there a myth about nonbinary people that annoys you the most? that we're all unaligned and want to be androgynous. I DO want to be andro, in the sense of being fem and masc at the same time, but others don't. Also, i'm masc-alligned.

6.Is there a nonbinary celebrity you look up to? This might be cheap lol but Demi Lovato, i like their music, so... yeah.

7.If you’re out, how did you come out? I am not ~technically~ out. But my friend knows; i was like "hey i think im transmasc" and she said "ok cool". but i came out to my family and it was. interesting lmao

8.Is there a gender-related pun you like? non-beenary. Also: trans people should handle the money because everything we do is a transaction im so sorry

9.Do you have friends who identify as nonbinary, too? friend-ish people, yeah. Also i have a friend who jokes she's "{name}gender" and says he is ok with literally any pronouns so... we may have an egg here.

10.Do you have a favorite lgbt+ character? Hmmmm Nico Di Angelo is my namesake but i honestly can't pick lmao.

11. Lgbt, lgbt+, lgbtqa+… which one do you usually use? Queer. I have a long, long post explaining why, but i hate being called LGBT unless you also call me queer lmao

12. How do you explain the term “nonbinary” to people who have no idea what it means? "i do not vibe with gender". or, "boy is here, girl is here, no gender is here, and i am here" *points between boy and no gender*. they usually get it

13.Tell us a fun fact about yourself (gender-related or random!) i am absolutely obsessed with books and if you want a book of any genre or type or trope just ask me via asks or anon and i will throw ALL THE RECS at u

14.How did you find your name? I stole it from Nico Di Angelo <3

15.If you’re in a relationship, how did your partner react to your coming-out? I'm a single pringle who doesn't wanna mingle lol, but my FRIENDS were all pretty good (except one. she's a transphobic asshole and i kinda hate her now)

16.Do you prefer partner, datemate, significant other or something else? i mean i've never dated and don't really wanna but my theoretical partner would call me boyfriend or partner in crime. the "in crime" would not be optional and i would not date someone who would object to it

17.A piece of advice for questioning kids? don't treat labels like they own you. E.g. if you ID as straight then really wanna date a boy/girl/ur gender, don't jump thru hoops explaining away that emotion--just use bi or pan or something else that fits. Also, it's ok to change labels!! i did like 20 times before i settled on my labels i've been using for about 8 months now!!

18.Which flag(s) do you use? nonbinary, genderqueer, aroace, bi, trans, transmasculine, asexual, aromantic. Look em up urself, tumblr won't let me post the images

19.Any tips for bad days? read a book. write a story. draw a picture. it doesn't have to be good, just do it. it helps

20.Do you have a favorite nonbinary blog on tumblr? i like @neopronounsmybelovaed, @lgb-positivi-t (not NB specific tho), and @letters-to-lgbt-kids (also not nonbinary specific tho). idk i havent seen a lot of NB blogs--reccomendations are appreciated!

21.Feminine, masculine, androgynous - or none of those things? i would like to be all of them at once but also femme but also manly masc boy but also 'my gender is gay and my sexuality is nonbinary' but also do not percieve me but ALSO-- (u get the idea)

22. What are your three favorite things about yourself? ah fuck uh. i like my writing. I like my ability to usually find good friends. i like how i will literally consume All The Information related to the things i like (in other words, talk to me about the raven cycle or writing pls).

[nonbinaryresource]

hi. i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work? i’m trans and when i listened to this artist’s work (harry styles - she & fine line) i connected with the songs immediately? i found a lot of people in the community who too connected to the songs and interpreted the lyrics as a struggle with one’s gender identity. at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong, but then after reading master posts i discovered that he constantly portrays gender in his work (using the trans flag on his album cover; being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.) and now i’m really confused. it feels comforting as a fan to relate to him and i, and a lot of other fans from the community, sometimes refer to him with he/she/they instead of he/him (he never said his pronouns are he/him). is that wrong? every time my (trans) friends and i refer to him with pronouns other than he/him or tell people not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that, other (usually cis. a trans fan called me transphobic and told me to stop seeking validation from cis white men.) fans will start calling us transphobic and delusional and attacking us to the point we had anxiety attacks over it? i’m just really confused right now. i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong. i’m not out to anyone irl and sometimes i wish people caught on to the little things i do and recognise that i am part of the community. i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

he has previously said that there are no lines between what's masculine and what's feminine for him anymore. i'm sorry this is so long and thank you

(You also sent in the song lyrics - thanks for the easy reference! - but I’m clipping those for length reasons.)

Disclaimer before I dig in: I am not a Harry Styles stan, I know very little about him, most of what I am going to say specifically about him is stuff I researched about specifically to answer this ask. I want to speak mostly generally to your question.

Okay, so you posed a pretty succinct, straight forward question. “i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work?“ However, there’s also a lot of context to this ask that makes things not so straight forward, and there are several distinct issues touched upon here I want to delve into. But it seems a good a starting place as any to start with the direct question you asked.

Yes, of course it’s okay to find your own meaning in art and role models and relate to art your way from your perspective based on your experience. In fact, that’s nearly the entire purpose of art! And it makes sense too, that we as social creatures would look up to and be inspired by celebrities, artists, mentors, role models, etc. Feeling connected to and less alone because someone in the spotlight plays with gender presentation like you might or want to makes a lot of sense!

However, we have to remember that A) sometimes art is just art, and B) someone being in the spotlight doesn’t mean we actually know or understand them or are/should act familiar with them.

As an example, a couple years back, Will Jay released a song called “Never Been in Love” that pretty much exploded with aros and aces and became a bit of an anthem for a lot of us. Many wondered if he was aspec himself and there was a lot of queries about it (and I saw quite a few blogs reminding folk that they were allowed to relate to the song even if it meant something different to Will Jay or he wasn’t actually aspec). Earlier this year, he released the song “Lies” where he admits that he was writing songs he thought people would relate to and he actually had been in love even before writing “Never Been In Love”. That should do nothing to diminish how meaningful the song was to people, though! If we related to the song, we related to the song, and if it was meaningful and made us feel seen and understood, that’s great! A lot of times, art is personal, but sometimes art is just an exploration.

This concept applies even more to people themselves. It is soooo easy to idolize and romanticize people you’ve never actually met and really only see the persona they want you to see. Yes, they share personal information with the world and they experience a general lack of privacy that makes you feel like yeah, you really know who they are. But how can you really, personally, intimately know someone without interacting with them, chatting with them, getting to know them one on one? It’s fine to have role models and feel represented by and relate to a celebrity - just do not lose sight of the fact that what you’re feeling is personal feeling on your own end. It’s not something that this celebrity has actually built with you.

To put this another way: it is fine to headcanon fictional characters, but it’s not okay to headcanon real people.

Now, what I’m building up to here is that there are a lot of assumptions I am seeing - from both sides - that we cannot truly know because all we know is what Harry [or anyone] chooses to share with us. I’d like to break this down by going through some specific points.

at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong

Okay, there are two sides to this.

1) It is wrong to apply a gender label/descriptor to someone without their permission.

2) In a cisnormative society, “cis” is the default gender label/descriptor to apply to everyone, and that’s equally wrong, so I get why it feels like a rebellion of the system to go “well, there are Reasons they could be trans, so I’m just going to go ahead and call them trans”.

We should get away from automatically labeling everyone as “cis”. However, the way we fix this isn’t to just decide we get to apply whatever label/descriptor to someone we want.

If someone hasn’t clarified or specified their gender (and you can’t/it isn’t a good or safe idea to ask them), it’s the safest bet to go by what they seem to be majority being called or what you can find of them referring to themself as.

In some cases, when someone seems to be specifically avoiding labeling themselves or uncomfortable with labeling themselves, it may be most comfortable for you to also avoid labeling them just as much as possible.

being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.)

It’s worth considering - is this something for friends only? Or is it open to fans and other public sectors?

Usually if something is for friends only, it’ll be kept out of public eye, but if only friends are doing this, is this something that is only being shared with you or is it something you’re entitled to as well?

Aaaaaaaaalso, it has to be pointed out that it’s binarist and cisnormative in it’s own way to equate different names/pronouns automatically with being trans or being a specific trans identity. Wanting to get pregnant? Do you know how many cis women I’ve heard go on and on about wanting a penis so they can pee standing up (like... all of them anytime we’re outside or camping)? Plenty of cis people use pronouns you might not expect! You don’t have to be trans/nonbinary to use multiple or ‘atypical’ pronouns. Cis people are allowed to use other pronouns as well! They’re allowed to have names typically associated with other genders! Not all gender nonconforming or genderqueer people/people queering gender are trans! Not everybody exploring their gender nor gender presentation is trans!

not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that

It’s great to not assume someone is cis! But that doesn’t automatically make them trans.

i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong.

Do you specifically, absolutely need to gender someone in order to relate to them?

i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

I’ve only recently seen a tiny bit of this ‘discourse’ around on twitter, but what I see is a few issues/points:

A) It’s not up to us to claim someone as trans if they have not come out as trans. Coming out is an extremely personal choice and should be up to each individual. “Claiming” them is basically dragging them into something that very well may be not theirs. And if it is theirs, why would you want to steal that moment of getting to determine and declare that away from them?

B) We are all so done with cis, able-bodied white folk being prioritized above the rest of the queer community!!! There are actual, legitimate, out trans people that can be your trans role models and they’re being shoved to the back of the closet in favor of a privileged, white Schrödinger’s Trans. Let’s uplift our actual community instead of getting stuck on someone who may or may not be a part of community - and may not even want to be a part of it!

All that being said, I do want to say something really quickly on Harry himself because it ties back into the assumptions we’ve been talking about. Harry’s sexuality has long been a question on fans and journalists minds, and Harry has pretty consistently made it clear that he’s not really interested in labels or boxes. Harry’s gender is not something that has been asked about, talked about, or answered on much. And his comment on masculinity and femininity? Let’s remember that, like pronouns, masculinity and femininity don’t automatically or inherently relate to one specific gender or not. And, quite frankly, it is faucet of toxic masculinity and cissexism to equate a gnc man/man in a dress with being trans. Men are allowed to wear dresses and makeup and heels! Men are allowed to be soft and nurturing and to cry! Cis or trans, men are allowed to be these things, and arguing that they’re trans simply for doing or being any of these does continue to enforce dangerous and strict views of the gender binary.

Okay, it feels like I kinda put you through the wringer, so I want to go back and reiterate: it is 100% valid to relate to and feel connected to/inspired by someone on the basis of their presentation and gender exploration. It is not valid to claim ownership over their identity because of this. It is possible for two people to experience same or similar things and yet come to different conclusions about themselves!

If Harry Styles as an icon is important to you, I’m glad you can have that! But not everyone will or has to share your connection, and the only one actually qualified to speak on Harry’s gender is Harry himself. Harry could be trans, but it’s his right and his right only to claim that label. Any assuming we do is just that: an assumption. And I want you to be careful with your own feelings getting too attached to the image of Harry you’ve built up in your own head only to potentially have them shattered if Harry decides to speak on things and it turns out his feelings don’t mean what you thought.

Your identity is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. You feeling validated and seen and represented by Harry’s actions is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. It’s great to have role models and be inspired by people, but remember that at the end of the day, you need to be able to rely on yourself to keep up your ego and determine your sense of self.

~Pluto

[roublardise]

my "Crowley isn't attracted to women" take

for @spnprideweek - day 2 - mlm

cw: dicussion of homophobia & transphobia all in all I wanted to highlight how canon gay Crowley is bc I love him 💕 thank u spn for Crowley even tho he deserved better

in the last weeks I've realized there's a huuge consensus in the fandom for pansexual Crowley. if you're pan or not and wanna hc Crowley as pan, power to you! but what's bothering me is the non-discussion of it all. the way it seems obvious for everyone. whereas, to me, Crowley has been canonically gay all this time.....

disclaimer: I'm aware Mark Sheppard alledgely said he saw Crowley as pansexual, however I can't even take these words for canon without context. Especially not when a year later he'd say Crowley's sexuality didn't matter. The way Mark Sheppard talks about characters' sexuality is more a "why are people making a big deal let them be" than "the character doesn't care." Moreover, actors pov can't be taken as canon imo. Jensen Ackles thought Dean straight for so long when Dean's been bi all this time as well. Sometimes actors are biased by their own experiences & stereotypes!

disclaimer #2: on god I don't wanna start discourse lmao. I just wanna share my silly thoughts about a tv show & question the way Crowley's sexuality is written in this silly homophobic tv show. don't @ me about what's making you think Crowley is indisputably pansexual bc I assure you I already know your points

That being said, here's why I think Crowley is a bear, a gay man, a trans gay man actually, a homosexual, who isn't attracted to women & some food for thoughts about why the unquestioned consensus towards pan Crowley could have roots in both homophobia & panphobia.

I don't think we can think of Crowley as your usual demon. We know too much about Crowley's life as a human, and the numerous ways in which he acts un-demony, almost humanly after. Considering him simply like a demon with no concept of gender preference who would be pan “by default” wouldn’t be right with his character. But we also can't question his sexuality in the exact same way we would a human's.

It also can't be thought in the same way as angels': as once-humans demons do have a concept of gender. Crowley especially cares a lot about his gender presentation and the way he's addressed. Not only does he literally sell his soul for a bigger d*ck as a human ; as a demon he uses the same vessel where other demons are shown to move once they had to leave one ; and for the few hours Crowley's possessing a woman, he clearly states he should still be referred to as king.

This will all be used for homophobic & transphobic jokes in the show, but I'll get back to that later on. Gender does matter to Crowley's identity, and I think it could be extended to his sexuality.

I've seen numerous descriptions of it all saying Crowley's sexuality was "ambiguous" and I guess it is, as he never explicitly used any label. However "ambiguous" doesn't mean bi or pan. It doesn't mean anything besides the fact we can't draw a clear-cut conclusion of his sexuality.

Imo we can actually draw a clear-cut conclusion of Crowley's sexuality but yeh, I'm getting there.

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Let's take a look at canon events around Crowley & sexuality!

His character introduction is him enjoying making a homophobe man kiss him for a deal

It is rumoured that he was a demon's lover (Lilith's)

He heavily flirts with Bobby

He french kisses Bobby for a deal and takes a pic

He never kisses a woman on screen (tell me if I forgot anyone!)

He flirts with every single man he sees, and even more strongly when it's making the other uncomfortable

The other parent of Crowley's son is never mentioned nor even brought up

He has two orgies that we know of

He has sex with a demon who's possessing a woman (Lola) when he was addicted to human blood

He dates, has sex with, and asks Dean to rule Hell with him. He's in love with Dean

On late spn he drinks fruity drinks

He flirts with and implies he had sex with an angel (Naomi)

He flirts with Death (Billie)

He's into BDSM

I'm not gonna go into details with all the sexual stuff he says bc there's a lot.... But it's always about gay sex. (once again, if I'm forgetting smth pls tell me nicely)

Now, with all that I'd like to question specifically the elements people use to say Crowley is canonically attracted to women.

He has two orgies that we know of

There’s the one Crowley has while he’s himself possessing a woman ; iirc it’s a foursome with two other men and one woman. Crowley still counts as a King, as the show makes sure we know, admitedly this dialogue implies we should still think of him as a not-very-manly-man.

Honestly, if one is convinced Crowley is attracted to women based on this scene.. okay. Personally I don’t see it because the orgy is unplanned, it’s an opportunity Crowley takes. Is he even attracted to the two other men?? Who knows. We don’t even know if Crowley even touches the other woman, there’re so many ways to have group sex. Even if he did, having sex with one woman doesn’t make it impossible for him to be homosexual.

The second orgy is with Dean. Crowley describes it then: “We've done extraordinary things to triplets.” It’s interesting how before I went to check, I thought it was clear the triplets were women. But not at all! I’ve been tricked by heteronormativity myself. So this is up to interpretation. Even though the way the show doesn’t make sure we know the triplets were women is pretty telling (as I’ll talk about later).

It is rumoured that he was Lilith's lover

Well, this is a rumour. In this relationship Crowley would know Lilith as a demon possessing a woman, and Lilith would know Crowley as a demon possessing a man as well. Who's even to say they met in their vessels to sleep together. That's the kind of cases in which the ambiguity of Crowley human/demon situation makes it impossible to draw any kind of conclusion towards Crowley's attraction to women. Also if anything Lilith is clearly a lesbian lmao.

He has sex with Lola when he was addicted to human blood

Same thing here, the relationship is one of demon/demon. Though we do now they do meet in their vessels to sleep together. Besides that, the sex happens while Crowley is at a low point. She's the one bringing him human blood, which makes the sex more of a transaction than anything. It does fit a very grey area of consent which would be fair to question.

We can't know for sure whether the demon possessing the woman was a woman as well, but let's say she was: 1/ Crowley having sex once or twice with a woman doesn't prevent him from being homosexual. 2/ What is he seeing if not a demon's true form? 3/ Wasn't he in a self-destructive mental state?

It's a stretch, imo, to assume Crowley was attracted to her.

He flirts with and had sex with Naomi / flirts with Billie

This one is so ridiculous to me bc Naomi is an angel and as a demon, Crowley sees her true form. We don't even know who was her vessel when they had sex.

The flirt thing is interesting however, bc iirc Naomi and Billie are the only "women" we see Crowley actually flirt with. During the orgies or the demon sex there's no flirt involved. It's interesting bc, as Cas would say: "Naomi's vessel is a woman. Naomi is an angel."

Same case for Billie who's a reaper then Death. Spn is pretty unclear about how the whole thing works but we know reapers are kind of angels. In any case, I won't go as far as saying Billie has any connection to gender.

Moreover, the way Crowley flirts with them is pretty light next to everything else Crowley says to men. It's pretty personal, I'm aware, but I do relate a lot with the way Crowley flirts with them VS how I flirt with men just because (and I'm a lesbian).

Anyway! Both Naomi and Billie are supernatural creatures, which brings the count of women Crowley flirts with to... zero.

-> What I take from all that is that Crowley is attracted to men for sure ; to angels and demons ; and doesn't care about the genitalia involved in the sex he has. We have nothing about the kind of relationships he had as a human. His gender presentation matters a lot to him. The only long-term commitment he has is with Dean. I wouldn't even say he had a committed relationship with Gavin's other parent bc we don't know anything about them.

----------------

But what's my deal with homosexual Crowley? One can wonder, if Crowley doesn't care about bodies, doesn't that mean he can still be written as pan?

No! First because sexual attraction isn't about genitalia (even if transphobes would argue the contrary but they're transphobic so...). And second, well....

I would refer to this point as "how do I know Crowley isn't attracted to women? bc Dean is"

I'm convinced that if the show wanted to write Crowley as anything other than a gay man, it would have been way more obvious.

This is a show who wrote Dean catcalling a faceless woman on the street, for no other reason than to remind the viewers Dean was attracted to women & to balance it with the following homoerotic scene.

One could say spn doesn't have lots of women characters to begin with, but that's my point exactly: when spn wants to show attraction towards women, they do find women for people to be attracted to. Hell, they even give Gavin some girlfriend but never ever bring up the topic of Gavin's other parent. Even though an entire episode is dedicated to learning about Crowley's past.

What's important to understand Crowley's sexuality isn't the people he slept with ; it's the people he doesn't show interest in.

The absence of something is the presence of the thing, blablabla. It's a way to look at homosexuality that heteronormativity makes hard to see because, unconciously, we don't tend to question attraction towards the expected gender. One would ask for a 10 pages essay on why a character is gay, but one would need only a 2 sec kiss to assure a character's heterosexuality or attraction towards the expected gender.

----------------

In Crowley's case, his attraction to men is a huge part of his character right from the beginning (thanks god, at least no one's questioning that). Spn as a show that hears what the fans are saying and twists writing accordingly, is perfectly aware of that. Yet rather than pushing women at him along the course of the show to remind everyone how Not Gay Crowley is - the opposite happens.

Yeh, Lola, Naomi, Billie, they all happen in the later seasons. But even then, the show somehow can't write Crowley as attracted to a human woman.

What happens then is: not only does Crowley fall for Dean ; he engages in some BDSM play with Lucifer : and he switches from drinking only the finest Scotch to fruity cocktails.

The BDSM thing as well as the drink thing are choices rooted in stereotypes, that's how spn is! But it does canonize Crowley's homosexuality. They're depriving him of his "masculinity" as the show goes on, because they purposely write him as homosexual. I don't think spn would have ever written a bi or pan character that way.

We learned a few days ago that Crowley died in a gutter. He died in a gutter for a bigger d*ck. I'm just gonna refer to Oscar Wilde & Mika on this : "some of us in the gutter are looking up at the stars."

The "referred to as king" scene isn't about Crowley being a demon and so not caring about gender - it's the opposite. Other demons are the ones poiting out Crowley's vessel. This is a transphobic joke. It's the demon edition of the "gay boy in a dress" transmisogynistic trope.

Viewers aren't supposed to be on Crowley's side ; we're supposed to be giggling with the other demons while Crowley is being emasculated. Crowley gets a woman vessel because he's a not-very-manly-man, because he's a trans man, because he's homosexual.

And I know that bc Dean is written as bi, and all they're doing is reaffirming the way he does like women while being extra subtle with his love for men.

Meanwhile Crowley is losing influence and power, loses his authority as he loses his throne in Hell, gets humiliated by Lucifer, until all his character revolves around is his love for Dean. The way Crowley is then protrayed as some lovesick ex who can't move on is, imo, a straight man fantasy. Crowley's love is both used as predatory and as a tool to validate Dean's Peak Masculinity.

Spn has been burying their gays all along, and Crowley was right there being punished for not only being in love with Dean but for not being attracted to women. For never being able to be a "normal" guy. For never being able to be seen as a "normal" guy. For checking every homophobic stereotypes in the books. Crowley as a human dies because he's a trans man. Crowley as a demon dies because he's homosexual.

----------------

That's what leads me to be uncomfortable with the way the fandom seems to have a consensus towards pansexual Crowley. (Once again: idc about people's personal hc of Crowley as pan, I just want to think critically about the way no one thinks twice about it & accepts it as canon so easily. Hell, just bc I dared to ask what started the pan Crowley confirmation I got accused of erasing his pansexuality. All I did was ask a question.)

To me, it feels like erasing everything his character went through because he was gay. And it seems to be taken from a reasoning which is going to assume Crowley is attracted to women.

I mean: the reasoning would go "oh, Crowley clearly has a non-straight sexuality -> he's attracted to men -> he's pan" His attraction to women being accepted by default, without needing any backup. And when I look at the canon I see nothing implying he'd be attracted to women. Taking Crowley's attraction to women for granted is following an heteronormative thinking.

Being into people isn't all about who one sleeps with. It's about love. And when we look at what spn shows about Crowley's close relationships, the only meaningful one he got is with Dean. When Rowena wants payback for Crowley making her kill Oskar, she goes for his son.

And it's SO interesting to me because if angels can't be in love because they don't have a soul - can demons? as they're beings with a destroyed soul? And if so, how powerful of Crowley to still fall in love with Dean Winchester.... the power of gay love :) (Crowley 🤝 Cas)

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To conclude all this with some more stuff to think about if, like me, you love questioning everything:

While it's not wrong per se to hc Crowley as pan, it can be worth questioning what's making us so sure we collectively just vibe with it? To me there's a few things: - As I was saying: heteronormative bias - Crowley being a non-fully-human character - Crowley being masculine (despite the show's attempts to erase that) - Crowley being into BDSM - Crowley flirting and making sexual remarks in every context

These, unconsciously, gives a vibe of a character who's "outside" of the gender norm, not making big deal of their sexuality, not even questioning it. This creates this idea of "ambiguity" around Crowley's sexuality. The way Crowley particularly seems to be really chill about sex, is a demon (so what does he know about gender?), and heavily flirty, ... is what most people will link to pansexuality. That doesn't mean thinking of Crowley as pan is being problematic™ ; this means in western medias that's what fills the "pansexual character" imagery (like basically: the Jack Harkness type).

However, when we look at it like that, none of these elements are defining of pansexuality. None of them are excluding him from homosexuality. If not stereotypes.

That's where it gets personal ; but it does make me feel like the huge consensus towards a pansexual Crowley (when there is no clear-cut evidence of it) is erasing the complexity of homosexual experiences. As I said at the begining: I'm happy if pansexual people can relate to Crowley ; everone's free to headcanon. But saying Crowley is canonically pansexual is a stretch - and a take rooted in homophobic stereotypes.

Imo Crowley may have been created with all these traits pushing towards a pan reading of his character. However, as the show went, he was clearly written as a homosexual man. The changes in his portrayal took a turn to be specifically homophobic. He gets imagery that only strictly homosexual characters got (such as drinking fruity cocktails like Aaron. Meanwhile Dean, on the same scene, is allowed beer & whiskey.)

We're used to taking spn's homophobic rep and jokes to make it our own. Yet it seems, when it comes to Crowley, the fandom doesn't see it.

Sometimes people aren't attracted to the gender heteronormativity expects them to be attracted to.......... sometimes people are gay and it's not an umbrella term.

[ouyangzizhensdad]

I have to say, one of the oddest things about western fans who “hate” (idk how much you can dispose someone while actively engaging with all of their works) MXTX is this assertion that she’s just a fetishizing straight woman (a thought that trickled over from white—ha!—ppl in fujoshi discourse). Because even though I’m not Chinese or Japanese, I have friends who are, and they’ve said the reason why ppl who consume BL keep it under wraps is not only because they’re consuming gay content but also because it’s assumed they won’t be straight themselves. The Actual stereotype is that MXTX as a BL writer, within the context of China, probably wouldn’t be regarded as straight. So this whole anti agenda just reeks of western cultural hegemony and racism to me.

Hi anon, 

I am no expert on these topics which are quite complex and multifaceted, and certainly do not have possess the cultural context to comment on the everyday perceptions of people who engage in BL in Japan and danmei in China. But let me say that I do find a certain irony that the same people who will label BL/danmei as “heteronormative” to argue it is homophobic will absolutely ignore the tensions that arise out of the fact that as a genre mainly produced and targeted at women, BL/danmei disrupts heteronormative schemes of desire and norms. It is from there that the sense of “abnormality” or of disruption originates, the one that explains the existence of the term “fujoshi”. 

Originated in the 1970s, this now fully matured BL subgenre has been viewed as a way to express repressed female desire and create alternative narratives for women under patriarchal society by its bold utilization of the female gaze and its subversion of heterosexual conventions (Aoyama 1988, McLelland 2000, Nagaike 2003,Wood 2006).” (Wang 2019:47)

In her groundbreaking research on danmei fiction, Feng Jin demonstrated that danmei fans sought excitement in transgressing the boundaries of conventional heterosexual romance and undermining established gender and sexual norms. (Ni 2018:10)

So it is not really surprising that I, like you, have heard some Chinese diasporic people discuss that they do not feel like they can let their parents or family know of their interest in MDZS/CQL without risking bringing attention to their sexual orientation. That being said, and while I cannot talk to the everyday perceptions of BL/danmei fans in their cultural context, all the media studies works I’ve read on the topic tended to emphasise that the majority of BL or danmei fans are heterosexual. Of course, it is difficult to take these things as absolutely conclusive, because a lot of factors (such as stigma and discrimination) may influence this perception that straight women represent the majority of fans. 

The thing I think that is often forgotten is that depictions of homosexual love or even same-sex experiences are not necessarily always received as a real or at least threatening disruption heteronormative order. Lesbian porn, for instance, does not displace women as objects of male desire and of the male gaze: it is thus not transgressive and there is nothing that is felt to be abnormal about a straight male consuming these works. In another line of thought, sexologists in early modern Japan framed some same-sex romances between the then-new shoolgirls as a completely normal part of their development, as a “kind of rehearsal for entry into adulthood, that is, heterosexuality and motherhood” (Suzuki 2010:27). However, at the same time, “postadolescent ome relationships, in which masculine and feminine roles were visibly defined [between female partners], were considered ‘abnormal same-sex love’ (hentai douseiai)” (idem). Perhaps mind-boggling for the tumblr university of queer studies but sometimes, due to spatiotemporally-specific contexts, a relationship between two people of the same gender that reproduces the gender presentation and roles of heterosexual relationships can actually be felt to be more of a threat to heteronormativity (in this case because it showed a sense of gender ambivalence that precluded one of the women from entering into normal married heterosexuality and because it offered a plausible alternative to heteronormative institutions like the reproductive heterosexual family). So even depictions of homosexual relationships between men, generally made for and by women, may actually be received as a disruption to heteronormative norms in some contexts--partly because of how female desires are made normal or abnormal in that iteration of heteronormativity. Things are complex, specific and shifting. Nothing about the social perception of sexuality, desires or same-sex love is static or global. Neither are heteronormative institutions.

To me it does not mean that BL or danmei are genres above criticisms, or that the fact that they can represent subversive and empowering genres for women, some of whom are queer, means that they do not have the potential of being at times homophobic or even transphobic. At the end of the day, my take on this is simply that considering the complexity of the context surrounding BL and danmei (a context that can be difficult to access or understand for Western fans) is necessary for critiques to hold any weight, and that we are poorly served by an all-or-nothing mentality. Dismissing from the start a work of fiction because of its association with a genre, without actually looking at what is in the text, is just lazy and dogmatic? And yes, may reek sometimes of the entitled white attitude that they, unlike the backward Other, know a thing or two about queer representation. 

And those are my two cents to take, as always, with a grain of salt.

---

Ni, Zhange (2018) Steampunk, Zombie Apocalypse, and Homoerotic Romance: Rewriting Revolution Plus Love in Contemporary China(working paper)

Suzuki, Michiko (2008) Becoming Modern Women: Love and Female Identity in Prewar Japanese Literature and Culture. Stanford: Stanford University Press. 

Wang, Cathy Yue (2019) Officially sanctioned adaptation and affective fan resistance: The transmedia convergence of the online drama Guardian in China. International Journal of TV Serial Narratives (V:2): 45-58.

[arcturus-ish]

I think it's pretty obvious who I'm talking about specifically, but if you're still confused: yes, this is partially about the ProtectAnaFlores blog, but also at anyone who's going after people for not liking Ana Flores (particularly people with CP who have a valid reason not to). I didn't like Ana Flores. While I am disabled, I don't have CP and so I wanted to listen to the input of people who do and since they all spoke about her being ableist I was able to recognize her ableism myself and decide that she wasn't a character I should support. If you don't have CP, you don't really have the authority to say whether someone who was ableist towards a character with CP was actually ableist to them because of it or not- even if you are disabled, because it's different. I will never know what it's like to have CP or how people would treat me because of it- I am physically-abled passing anyway, so I don't experience that kind of ableism much; I will never know what it's like, so I trust people who do when they talk about it because THEY are the only ones who WOULD. "If you don't like Ana Flores you're a misogynist." If you're a cis gay guy- you're not really qualified to lead conversations about misogyny, considering you have never-and will never- experience it; you actually thrive off of it, like any other cis man. Should you be an ally and call it out? Definitely. Do you know more than afab people, who experience it every single day? absolutely not. Not liking Ana does not make me misogynistic, just like liking/defending her does not wholly absolve you of not being misogynistic. If you group afab people who don't identify as women (i.e, nonbinary people) with women in your mind, purely because they're afab and not because it's what they identify as, then you kind of suck. Cis gays have been known to be almost as (if not just as) transphobic as cis straight people and I'm tired of seeing it. While I agree that there are a lot of women in fandom spaces that fetishize mlm relationships (I've been fetishized a LOT for being a trans and queer person- I know how disgusting it is), labelling every single Buddie shipper as "a white woman or afab enby who fetishizes gay men" is... wrong. I'm afab, transmasc and agender, but I label myself loosely as mlm and so being grouped in with women purely because of what I was assigned at birth, and not because of my actual gender identity, when it comes to appreciating mlm relationships feels borderline transphobic. Non-binary people can be gay for men too, and even if they're not, maybe they see themselves in Buck/Eddie and so their relationship means something to them? The other (canon) couples, whether they be straight or queer, mean a lot to me as well- literally every person I follow or have interacted with about 911 loves the other queer/BIPOC representation just as much and more often than not is queer and/or BIPOC themselves. (this is NOT dismissing the fact that A LOT of the 911/Buddie part of the fandom is racist, ableist, misogynistic and has people who fetishize queerness as a whole. I acknowledge that and hate those people just as much as most of us do-same for the cishet people who make spaces like this unsafe for us queer people- but I'm not addressing that right now.) Call people out on their bullshit if it's spreading harm and/or misinformation, absolutely, but don't harass and bully a bunch of people (some of which are literal MINORS) for finding comfort in Buddie when there's no reason to other than they like these two together. You've called me "pathetic and 100% the worst" for doing absolutely nothing before, simply because you caught onto the fact that I enjoy Buddie. Aren't you doing the same exact thing you hate Buddie shippers for? Seems fairly hypocritical, but I guess you're the only person who gets to call people out on that... because you're a gay guy.

[kuromichad]

different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia. 

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner). 

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness. 

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.